The Sexless Escort Service

Could it help cure the incel problem?

In which I present another wild and unlikely idea to cure various social ills:

I was listening to

Walt Bismarck

‘s podcast with

kryptogal

on as a guest (it’s a great conversation; you should give it a listen) and was talking to my husband about it. I was telling him that I started reading Walt’s Substack after having the same reaction as Kryptogal did to his post imploring conservative men to stop being mean to slutty women (alternately offended and cracking up laughing throughout). We ended up on the topic of OnlyFans and how no one who does complain about things like OF ever talk about the demand side of that particular industry. This led to a sort of lightbulb moment about another topic I’ve been hearing a lot of talk about lately that I think is important: mentorship for teenage boys and young men, the incel-adjacent or spectrumy guys, the awkward dudes and hopelessly shy nerds who for whatever reason have no role models or confidants, the ones who don’t have any idea how to attract a woman and whose rejections are causing them to become bitter and violent in myriad ways. The ones self-IDing as incels, or about to.

There have been plenty of people and methods used to target these types of men for mentorship and self-improvement. In recent years, at least since I’ve been paying attention in the early aughts, some that come to mind are Neill Strauss and his PUA troupe, Andrew Tate, and Jordan Peterson. Walt talks about how Millennial men need to step up and start mentoring these younger Zoomer guys, many of whom are only children or whose siblings are close in age due to many Zoomers having older parents.

Save for (earlier) Jordan Peterson and Walt’s male-to-male mentorship idea, the advice the other two give are largely misogynistic and superficial in nature and do little to help heal the growing rift between men and women, let alone the men themselves. While they may be successful at helping some guys get superficially hot and brave enough to have a one night stand with a hot chick once in a while, it’s not going to get him the kind of lasting and sustained interest and happiness in a real relationship that most people — including most men — eventually want. And if and when he does decide he wants that, he’ll have no idea how to operate in that manner after years of misogynist conditioning that women who want to settle down are not interested in, and his relationships will likely fail due to a number of issues with his communication style, his lack of anticipation for her needs, and maybe even hardcore-porn-based sexual expectations she may be uncomfortable with, among other things. The relationships that do last will probably be pretty toxic on both ends. They will continue to create the market for all the relationship advice reels and attachment style analysis videos currently in the social media feeds of every woman under 50.

What Went Wrong?

Everyone says it because it’s obviously and intuitively true: it’s the phones, it’s the lack of personal connection, it’s the porn, it’s the early puberty, it’s the social media. And while we figure out how to fix that problem, we need to do something to step in to help the ones who are emerging into adulthood fully incapable of handling normal human things like dating, work, independent living, and sex.

I talked about young women in my post about bringing back the Red Tent, so what do today’s young guys really need to keep them from their own poor side effects, like going off the misogynist deep end and relegating themselves to the life of the sad and pathetic and forever-single, awkward man?