The PUA thing is an overreaction to late-20th-century feminist lies. No, it's not just about 'being yourself and being a good person', status and muscles matter too. But they're not everything. Then the guys doing PUA spawned even more toxic fourth-wave feminists, who proceeded to make the likes of Andrew Tate popular...
My main complaint with alpha widows is when they write articles complaining about men refusing to marry them in the New York Times. It's perfectly reasonable to decide you have other priorities than pairing and follow them!
I will say I learned a lot from reading The Game by Neil Strauss when I was 21. A fascinating window to a whole different world.
I think the concept of an "alpha widow" just confused me for a long time. I've got it straight now, but that's just another thing I haven't personally seen happen in my own social circles. I could have missed some, but still.
It's good to read about game as a woman; you can take the appropriate countermeasures.
The country is so huge you can have massively different social dynamics in different places. You can have parts of the country where traditional gender roles are mandated, and others where they're execrated.
It was so interesting because it presented this very specific type of behavior to men as a pickup strategy that I'd seen a lot and experienced with an ex as manipulative and emotionally abusive. It was very hard not to see the parallel despite the somewhat different intentions of the people using the tactics. But yeah, either way, it's a good lesson in manipulation tactics in general and how to spot them being used against you, whether in a dating scenario or otherwise.
I have definitely seen examples of the different social/dating dynamics from different regions in the country. I remember once my cousin came up from Missouri and was surprised to see me, my sister, and another girlfriend of ours go out without our boyfriends, like where he was from, if you were dating someone, it was expected that you went out together if you went out at all, like you had to chaperone each other. A friend from the Chicago area had a similar mindset. That kind of behavior seemed more like an anomaly to me in Minneapolis and I was surprised people seemed so much *stricter* about that stuff elsewhere.
It's worth mentioning there are a fair number of men who will pick up just enough PUA to be attractive, get married, exit the pool, and never mention where they learned it. As in biochemistry, the dose makes the poison.
I haven't really left blue areas so I can't say. I'm told Minneapolis leans blue but has a long history of people who have known each other for a long time and it's hard to break in. (The climate discourages interlopers, I imagine.)
I was engaged at 22 so I missed the adult dating game. I think because of that I enjoy reading about it when the writing is good and the author authentic.
Yes, definitely, and I think it's natural and probably good for people like that to engage with this kind of stuff to get a better handle on the basics. Like I said, I think it's pretty useful for self-improvement and learning about the opposite sex.
Back in the days when I interacted with PUA/TRP stuff it was so laughably weird. It really was like people observing the trashiest people they knew and deciding that’s what human romance was like, and it made some kind of sense that if they were trying their methods at the local dive bar they probably wouldn’t feel their ideas were disproven.
I feel like I way more commonly now see “black pilled” guys, or people who are on the edge of that space - and for them it isn’t a case of forgetting what real love is like so much of never having experienced it. I probably encounter this kind more commonly bc I too am a huge nerd who is too terminally online to pull, but I do think it has something to do with the apparently society wide generational changes in in person interaction going on rn
I don't think there's much wrong with realising that the woman you're with probably doesn't even really want you anyway if you're not her Chad. Just don't invest too much into something temporary.
Plenty of guys get told by women following first dates that there was no spark or connection. Sometimes you need to realise that you're just repulsive to women, which is what that phrase means.
Some of us are pointy face appreciators 😂
🥹
The PUA thing is an overreaction to late-20th-century feminist lies. No, it's not just about 'being yourself and being a good person', status and muscles matter too. But they're not everything. Then the guys doing PUA spawned even more toxic fourth-wave feminists, who proceeded to make the likes of Andrew Tate popular...
My main complaint with alpha widows is when they write articles complaining about men refusing to marry them in the New York Times. It's perfectly reasonable to decide you have other priorities than pairing and follow them!
I will say I learned a lot from reading The Game by Neil Strauss when I was 21. A fascinating window to a whole different world.
I think the concept of an "alpha widow" just confused me for a long time. I've got it straight now, but that's just another thing I haven't personally seen happen in my own social circles. I could have missed some, but still.
It's good to read about game as a woman; you can take the appropriate countermeasures.
The country is so huge you can have massively different social dynamics in different places. You can have parts of the country where traditional gender roles are mandated, and others where they're execrated.
It was so interesting because it presented this very specific type of behavior to men as a pickup strategy that I'd seen a lot and experienced with an ex as manipulative and emotionally abusive. It was very hard not to see the parallel despite the somewhat different intentions of the people using the tactics. But yeah, either way, it's a good lesson in manipulation tactics in general and how to spot them being used against you, whether in a dating scenario or otherwise.
I have definitely seen examples of the different social/dating dynamics from different regions in the country. I remember once my cousin came up from Missouri and was surprised to see me, my sister, and another girlfriend of ours go out without our boyfriends, like where he was from, if you were dating someone, it was expected that you went out together if you went out at all, like you had to chaperone each other. A friend from the Chicago area had a similar mindset. That kind of behavior seemed more like an anomaly to me in Minneapolis and I was surprised people seemed so much *stricter* about that stuff elsewhere.
It's worth mentioning there are a fair number of men who will pick up just enough PUA to be attractive, get married, exit the pool, and never mention where they learned it. As in biochemistry, the dose makes the poison.
I haven't really left blue areas so I can't say. I'm told Minneapolis leans blue but has a long history of people who have known each other for a long time and it's hard to break in. (The climate discourages interlopers, I imagine.)
I enjoyed this.
I was engaged at 22 so I missed the adult dating game. I think because of that I enjoy reading about it when the writing is good and the author authentic.
> She’ll cheat on him when a buffer, more charming ogre comes along
Were there other ogres?
Also: "the least we could do is not be the kind of insufferable nerds who turn sex and love into an overly-complicated math problem."
Has it occurred to you that for many nerds (especially male), math problems are *easier* than sex and love?
Yes, definitely, and I think it's natural and probably good for people like that to engage with this kind of stuff to get a better handle on the basics. Like I said, I think it's pretty useful for self-improvement and learning about the opposite sex.
Back in the days when I interacted with PUA/TRP stuff it was so laughably weird. It really was like people observing the trashiest people they knew and deciding that’s what human romance was like, and it made some kind of sense that if they were trying their methods at the local dive bar they probably wouldn’t feel their ideas were disproven.
I feel like I way more commonly now see “black pilled” guys, or people who are on the edge of that space - and for them it isn’t a case of forgetting what real love is like so much of never having experienced it. I probably encounter this kind more commonly bc I too am a huge nerd who is too terminally online to pull, but I do think it has something to do with the apparently society wide generational changes in in person interaction going on rn
I don't think there's much wrong with realising that the woman you're with probably doesn't even really want you anyway if you're not her Chad. Just don't invest too much into something temporary.
Plenty of guys get told by women following first dates that there was no spark or connection. Sometimes you need to realise that you're just repulsive to women, which is what that phrase means.