"...I started questioning a lot more of my interactions with men, suspicious of their motives, assuming the worst of most."
I really think that a huge amount of grievance culture stems from people assuming the worst. It's so easy to do, and it totally relieves the person making the assumption from having to consider their own responsibility.
I'm not saying that the worst is never true. There really are some awful people out there. But most people aren't awful, and don't deserve to be lumped in with those who are. Maybe I'm just an old idealistic gen-x'er, but I would much rather that individuals be judged on their own merits instead of being lumped into this group or that.
What a coincidence! Such an interesting trajectory, and though it's different from mine, it has led to similar conclusions. I was just thinking today how I see sex differences now sort of like the tide coming in or gravity. Not always convenient or what we'd choose, but inevitable and best adjusted to rather than constantly fighting. I spend a lot of time with animals, on farms, and it's so clear that mammals evolved with different sex characteristics in order to complement each other and survive. Thanks for this thoughtful piece.
Like when people manipulate language in order to impugn other groups, so, too, do special interests betray their contradictions under the slightest scrutiny.
I’m not privy to which school of feminism this sentiment is ascribed, but I do know that at least one of them decries “privilege” because it’s a form of hegemony. And I do know that all of them decry patriarchy because it’s a privileged hegemony that feminism, apparently, confronts as an alternative.
To me, the internal contradiction is blatant: we cannot have a singular, privileged ideology or narrative because of hegemony. But feminism, without peer, is ostensibly just that. So what is the problem here, privilege or patriarchy? Why would it not stand to reason, then, that patriarchy becomes validated as a democratic alternative that keeps feminism from achieving a despotic tyranny? I have never gotten a straight (or cis or white, for that matter) answer to that quandary.
Did you read the essay you're responding to, Frank? Because it doesn't sound like it. Anyway you've bizarrely made this same point to me before. I don't know who you think I am, but you seem to have some pretty wild ideas about it!
Well, I’d have been left out of the conversation, too, and I’d have also kept my distance from you, because, well, because not doing so has always seemed to be very wrong, in a very vague way.
"...I started questioning a lot more of my interactions with men, suspicious of their motives, assuming the worst of most."
I really think that a huge amount of grievance culture stems from people assuming the worst. It's so easy to do, and it totally relieves the person making the assumption from having to consider their own responsibility.
I'm not saying that the worst is never true. There really are some awful people out there. But most people aren't awful, and don't deserve to be lumped in with those who are. Maybe I'm just an old idealistic gen-x'er, but I would much rather that individuals be judged on their own merits instead of being lumped into this group or that.
What a coincidence! Such an interesting trajectory, and though it's different from mine, it has led to similar conclusions. I was just thinking today how I see sex differences now sort of like the tide coming in or gravity. Not always convenient or what we'd choose, but inevitable and best adjusted to rather than constantly fighting. I spend a lot of time with animals, on farms, and it's so clear that mammals evolved with different sex characteristics in order to complement each other and survive. Thanks for this thoughtful piece.
I like that metaphor! And I'm glad the piece resonated. Thank you 😁
Like when people manipulate language in order to impugn other groups, so, too, do special interests betray their contradictions under the slightest scrutiny.
I’m not privy to which school of feminism this sentiment is ascribed, but I do know that at least one of them decries “privilege” because it’s a form of hegemony. And I do know that all of them decry patriarchy because it’s a privileged hegemony that feminism, apparently, confronts as an alternative.
To me, the internal contradiction is blatant: we cannot have a singular, privileged ideology or narrative because of hegemony. But feminism, without peer, is ostensibly just that. So what is the problem here, privilege or patriarchy? Why would it not stand to reason, then, that patriarchy becomes validated as a democratic alternative that keeps feminism from achieving a despotic tyranny? I have never gotten a straight (or cis or white, for that matter) answer to that quandary.
Re footnote 2, the suggestions are pretty weak.
https://youtu.be/ha0y5MF274s?is=tUtcm1SJOhxoI0bH
Some of the issues: underpowered studies, confounds of sexual orientation and hormone treatment, lack of pre-registration.
today I learned that Lirpa is April backwards
I was today years old.
For the longest time I thought her name was a Star Trek reference. Just a coincidence, it turns out!
A common misconception! I only learned about the Star Trek connection a few years ago, lol. But I've been going by Lirpa online for a long time now.
Re “how they wouldn’t make as much eye contact with us”
We’re stingy with eye contact because we’ve been taught not to stare, especially at our friends’ girlfriends.
Great essay! Fwiw the "trans brains" MRI studies are very low quality and not proof of anything.
Guess what? No sane man wants a feminist. No sane man will go near a feminist.
If there really was a patriarchy, women would have to fight wars, and men would be exempt. Did you eve stop to think about that?
Did you read the essay you're responding to, Frank? Because it doesn't sound like it. Anyway you've bizarrely made this same point to me before. I don't know who you think I am, but you seem to have some pretty wild ideas about it!
Well, I’d have been left out of the conversation, too, and I’d have also kept my distance from you, because, well, because not doing so has always seemed to be very wrong, in a very vague way.
Women are the primary victims of male loneliness, because lonely men fantasize about them without their consent.